Ceven’s Blog

Sometimes I wonder if people are really being aware of the arguments they make against things like taking care of other people or the environment. How does one become so uninvolved in the world to ridicule those who do? It’s too easy to say that it comes down to education or not being exposed enough.

In the last couple of months I’ve had a few exchanges with people that have surprised me. The most recent took place during commenting over an internet post with someone I’ve never met and don’t know anything about other than he shares a friend with me. In participating in any form of open public discussion one accepts that there will be those who have a different opinion. It was irritating that the person didn’t stop at having another opinion but felt it necessary to aggressively ridicule me. Instead of correcting or clarifying or even giving a counter-argument the discussion ended and everything veered off-topic into a sort of intellectual pissing contest splitting hairs. I thought to myself, “what for?”

The choice of words and execution used reminded me of another exchange I had last spring. If I discuss something like politics or social topics, I prefer not to speak with people who share exactly the same opinion as myself. It’s boring, one-sided and no one comes out any more enlightened. Still, speaking with people who break down into insults when they have no idea who you are or what your background is or even hold the slightest clue as what you may be about is perplexing and annoying.

I have friends who approach issues differently than me but can still have a discussion. I’ve been called out on some of my words and ideas before and have become a bit wiser for it. Of course there was a time when I took being called out on these things much more personally. It is with this understanding I try to keep my wits about me when dealing with the more aggressive personalities. All the same I wonder where the line should be.

I find that those who are unafraid to expose themselves to uncertain and new things without decaying into cynicism to be really courageous people. I like them most of all. They build bridges, test ideas and get to the heart of misunderstanding. Lately it is very difficult to not succumb to negative influences. A minute’s worth of news stories can ruin anyone’s good mood no matter which perspective they come from. Everyday we are closer to death, so in the end does anyone really want to look back on their life seeing it seething with judgement, indifference and intolerance? Is it worth it? Using angry words and ridicule like that are signs of a deeper self-deprecation and a socially inept waste of time.

Last Friday I had a very nice discussion with a coworker. It was about the differences on how we approach the world and people from before we started at the hostel and now years later. I would love to see the exact statistics of how many people from how many cultures I’ve met and dealt with over the last six years. I bet the numbers are quite impressive. Our working environment is a flowing tap of people. For being an artist with a day-job I have the best one in the world. It’s why I became interested in science fiction. They are all aliens who come from everywhere with every background and every disposition and it’s my job to understand the best way to communicate with them. I’ve found far and wide that most people really are nice. Despite religious, intellectual, political and economical differences, many possess the basic human component of compassion when you really one-on-one directly communicate with them. This is why it’s so difficult for me to process people who just want to be nasty when making a point.

The rehearsal this evening was challenging on several levels. The most obvious was being in a shut-in sound proofed room with no moving air while the outside was already at 30°C. Miriam made up a new english word – smellting, based off of the german schmeltze, and the english forms of melting and smelling.

The band is great with each other. They communicate through the music. I feel at times like an outsider with text. My place in the overall piece hasn’t found itself yet. I’m bumpy and clash with the sounds. I don’t like the way I come off.

All the same it’s an interesting lesson. I’m acting again and want to do a good job. I’m also beginning to understand how an actor needs a certain type of direction to come into their role. As a video director this is an invaluable experience. I’d much prefer to be insecure right now than not.

We have another rehearsal on Wednesday and then the director and I sometime after will have a meeting concerning my part. The rest get the luxury of hiding behind instruments, maybe walls of some sort – in comparison I’m naked (not literally), standing in front of an audience. I see them and they see me. If I can get comfortable with my role then it’s no problem, I won’t care and will have fun with it. If I can’t find my way beforehand then will have to improvise and that’s always nice.

I am still the weakest most inexperienced of all the parts and going through an interesting growing pain. I came out this evening feeling failure and that is healthy. I’m doing this for two very good reasons. First, I like the project very much. The people involved are wonderful and it’s an excellent evolution to work with Miriam on this level and learning to work with even more talented people. Second, it’s a preparation on getting used to performing. Eventually Nevec Red will do a show and I will have to be ready for that.

I will never forget the first day I became a stripper. It was for a benefit in Chicago. I was fresh in town. It was scary but fun as fuck after the first time. When I went to a strip club for my first audition a week afterwards the mother of the owner was sitting at the bar. She was an ancient old lady. In my first 30 seconds I asked if I should take off my clothes immediately or make a dance of it. Out of all the people in the bar she piped up, “Do what you want, honey!” and I relaxed. I got the job and within days was back on that stage stripping for my first shift. It too was nerve wracking, but after the first song I fell into place. I know that this project is only a small project in front of people. I don’t even have to strip! It’ll be fine once I get past the nerves and have a sense of how this is supposed to work.

I heard music today that moved me. Three people played with each other coming from a special place and then I started on the microphone. When they played I had no fear, when they didn’t play I bridged to the next place. It was the first time that I’ve ever been in such an environment and it was life-changing. I like it – so much actually, that I think about having a real band. The chemistry between a few people sitting in a room going over small details jamming out having a really nice time at it – it’s the next evolution of the Geräuschkulisse sessions.

I’m thankful that Miriam is there too. We’ve worked out our dynamic to the point that it makes it easier for me to perform when she is present. The addition of Troy is genius. He’s a real composer and then there’s Sandro the drummer who makes truly inspired choices and rhythms. An Italian, an East German, a Hollander and an ex-American all together making something that’s not experimental, but instead a sound that’s not easily definable. I love this project more and more. Our show premiers in about a week and a half. When they play together I’m not the least bit scared.

I am the weakest link in the bunch and pushed forward to the front of the stage. For right now I do my job and watch them argue over tempos, chords and mixing. I give my opinion when asked and do whatever it takes to be a part of the group, but also realize that it’s best to sometimes be quiet and observe. The only thing that could hurt me is having an ego. Everyone involved is so serious about getting it right and I really love that. Eventually I will have to entertain people for about 30 minutes while the band plays on behind me. We have a few places open for improvisation in the show. Me and the band making it up as we go along on stage – how wonderful!

After the 48 Hours Neukölln festival we will be playing in different venues over the summer changing and perfecting our show as time goes on. This is the most thrilling reward I’ve ever had. I’m not scared but nervous – for the first time in what feels like forever, isn’t that exciting?

Last night I went to see Cocorosie with maurus at the Admiralspalast. I’ve heard so much about them in concert and already appreciate their albums, so I was really looking forward to the experience.

I really liked the show. Cocorosie have of course a distinct style (that may have been polished up through the countless tours). The visuals were very nicely done composites, but to be completely fair I felt they were just a little too repetitive and could have had just a touch more put into them. Seeing this concert I am reminded a great deal of the post-modern art bands of New York City, (and to a lesser refined degree those of Chicago). They were having a lot of fun and it projected out into the audience who in turn were having a lot of fun. That is what it’s all about. It’s something that can’t be faked or digitized.

I studied this show and came away with a few bits of inspiration to develop upon. One thing that stood out was their use of a beatboxer. Seeing that live after making YOU WORK IT and studying Björk’s VOLTA album, I can say that man-made percussive sounds moved a bit closer to my heart. Another thing was the overall feel to the evening. The show wasn’t completely streamlined and slicked down to predetermined pantomime – a little dirty and raw is exactly what was missing from the Fever Ray experience. As a matter of fact I hope they don’t elaborate on the video, it was just fine.

Much love to the girls and thanks for a great evening. I’m really looking forward to the new album!

Unfortunately I forgot to enable the audio record on my phone for video. For those of you who do not know Cocorosie, here is something to hear/see.

I’d like to meet Robert Henke and congratulate him on a beautiful piece of software called Operator in Ableton Live. He also wrote the Grain Delay which is my favourite of all the filters to patch into a midi controller. It is because of him that I became interested in writing music again and want to learn how to build my own controller.

Up until a few months ago I had no idea who he was, but knew Operator and Grain Delay very well and used them for four years as my #1 starting place for music writing. It wasn’t until maurus played a cd for me one evening that his name came up. I instantly liked his music and asked who it was and commented on how is sounds somehow familiar. At this point we looked up his website and there it was – he’s the creator of my tools! I read his bio right at the same moment as discovering how to do midi mapping in live and the basics of building a controller. It was like the gods sent a very loud clear answer – “this is where to go next”. There is luckily more than enough information over the internet on how one can build their own controllers. Once the new studio is set up I’d like to get into giving it a go.

Since 2006 Ableton Live has been my main software. It’s very approachable and doesn’t take long to learn. Operator with Live 5 is a fine synthesizer (which got better with version 7 or 8). Because of my time spent with there I was able to adapt rather easily to Logic 8. For me they are both excellent DAWs but together become an amazing force of nature

Because of limitations I’ve not been able to dive into understanding how to program with Tension or Analog or any of the other newer synths in Live, which is unfortunate. However in the meantime I’ve been learning how to program around Ultrabeat, the ESX24, ES2, and Sculpture and am totally blown away by them. I’ve also been learning how to deal with working within the Environment window and why there are different means of automation. I’m not sure if I’d want to take Logic outside of the studio, like taking a laptop with Live to make a performance but am nevertheless very impressed with how deep one can program and process in it.

I have to admit, in Berlin we are very lucky to have so many motivated and talented experimental and electronic musicians that we set an example for other places. It is with this spirit in mind I highly suggest taking a look through Robert Henke’s website, see what he does across many platforms and maybe give him a listen.

Also – due to the questions: Tomorrow I turn 36, if you want to send something you have two choices:

1. Send a donation to the American Red Cross who do so much to help people in times of crisis in the world and need every penny they can get.

   Or

2. Visit my Amazon Wishlist

Explaining work makes me uncomfortable. To give away details so literally is an injustice. This comes from the opinion that art (or what is considered to be art) is something that one can only consider as such at least fifty years after it has been made. By then it stands truly on its own. Maybe the artist is dead, maybe the movement it belongs to is dead or maybe it is just a piece that survived to be taken at face value. No matter what, to name something as “art” and to explain it immediately after completion seems like a moot argument. For this reason I detest the time spent justifying what is meant with “this” or “that” and it leads to some very colourful discussions about how videos and music are here (and elsewhere) presented. I do not envy maurus for trying to get past my stubbornness as I am not easy!

It is interesting to watch which projects are successful and which aren’t after being sent out into the world. I cannot predict either way. As a matter of fact, were it known to which extent CM7 would become loved in the world, I would have  genetically changed one or two things. Perhaps that is what keeps it pure. I see an imperfect video and hear an imperfect song every time, but it makes no difference – people respond to the graceful simplicity. The lesson was that if it’s made with love it doesn’t need to be anything more than what it is. Despite imperfections, I am very happy with it.

Other times I have problem children, like Earliest Simple. The song is fine, actually quite well made for the time it was written. The video, however was a fight from start to finish. I actually quit and went back to the beginning after getting through a third of original concept. It’s not a bad video, but lacks the kind of soul I was seeking. The result looks like something a bit rushed through. I lost my patience with it. If there was ever a project to teach patience it was this one. Wesen was a much more successful evolution of Earliest Simple and took an extraordinary amount of patience.

The last video released, You Work It is something I feel must be explained. Perhaps on this level it has failed. Out of all the others I’m going to address this one? Well yes actually, I’ve received enough response to know where it does and does not fail and nevertheless feel somehow positive:

The first thing to notice is that it is largely vocal, meaning the music itself is mainly beatboxing. The inspiration comes from the album Volta from Björk. She made it mainly with vocal sounds, brass and some synthetic drum processing. I really love it and wanted to do a song in the same way. Together with Miriam Siebenstädt, we made a bunch of beatboxing rhythms at the Geräuschkulisse and then went back to my studio and arranged them. At this time I was feeling sardonic towards pop music and wanted to make fun in a way that was well-constructed. The text was improvised and meant to be as obnoxious as possible. Luckily my voice went to an interesting place with no trouble that evening! It ended in a ritualistic type of chanting sequence because I thought it was a funny way to end a song, in an attempt to capture the stylistic openness of modern pop music when it seeks attention.

At first I had a different idea of where to go and asked a couple friends to supply a funk guitar riff or two. I tried to put them in but it wouldn’t accept anything beyond the basic organ which I wrote on the fly. After a few attempts I came to realize that it was best to keep things simple. A couple months passed and the song sat on a shelf alone. When it came time to make the spring Equinox show I decided to use it. Even then I was unsure if the right idea would get by, but in the end liked how it worked. This song is about me putting myself on the line doing something outside the comfort zone of experimental music.

The point of the video was to bring out the song’s pop nature. Using a disembodied head against video feedback was a throw back to the early 80’s music video making. The message is as absurd as a Lady Gaga. It means orchestrated nothing. It was meant to be a satire, but I think something went wrong. Maybe the joke was too personal. The upcoming Rote is another change of direction, we’ll see how that goes.

As we come into the springtime my project NEVEC RED will be taking a much needed break. It’s been a hugely creative autumn/winter with so many things accomplished that it’s time to stop and breathe a bit before jumping into summer. There will be a couple more releases coming out of the next weeks to finish everything up. These songs are about creating textures from chance. They were previewed during the live show EQUINOX:

1.) NIRAT – This is a reimagining of my previous work UNTER UNS KOLLEGEN. It features maurus on vocals. He also is the camera man for all the videos coming out.
2.) EVER – an electronic piece layered on top of bird sounds.
3.) YOU WORK IT – An older song made during autumn. It was intended to have more instrumentation but with every try I always came back to this simple version. With the exception of the organ it is entirely vocal.
4.) ROTE – The next evolution from the Unschärferelation series.

The two missing pieces are RITE OF SPRING (Stravinksy in Hyperdrive remix) and INVOCATION. With the first I used a copyrighted piece of recorded material as a sample. The point was to take an already stressy composition to listen to and push it up several notches as far as it would go. The second piece is in response to that, sampling from two earlier works of mine (GERÄUSCHKULISSE SESSION 2 and DRACHE), layering them on more sounds and distortions in an attempt to fill up as much space as possible. These pieces were intended strictly for the performance and will not be released.

The Equinox performance was a lot of fun and now that it’s behind us I’m already thinking about Summer Solstice. As always, expect a change in direction.

I have some further plans which will be discussed later. In the meantime go take a look outside – it’s the biggest thing you’ve ever seen!