Ceven’s Blog

I have created a page for the film. It’s really important for me to secure a better quality camera than the old Hi8 I’ve been using for years. Please take a look. Thanks!

I’ve started working on the film short whose script was passed onto me a couple weeks ago. The more involved it becomes the more psyched I am about it. It’s been a while since doing a strict short film. The last was “Die Verrückte Teestunde” an original German translation of the Mad Tea Party from “Alice in Wonderland”. Looking back now the short is full of holes but it was the most complicated project to assemble at the time. It marks exactly where I was as a filmmaker in May 2008. In the end it would have worked a hundred thousand times better had I gotten the sound properly recorded or asked for voice-over work.

This time I’ve started with the audio and am building from it. By nature I am a musician but deep down in the heart of me there is also film director clawing his way outward. My life-long passion is learning how to marry these two together. Right now I start to see where that evolution is going. With the aforementioned film I struggled to get all the parts together plotting and planning every little detail. This time I know what to expect and find myself thinking, “Oh yes, and this is where we do blah blah blah…” I’m totally into the coordinating the photography, script structure, audio, writing the soundtrack, editing, how everything will look and layering. It’s really fun!

The film is titled “Addis Abeba” and it is about the duality of relationships, how they come together and break apart and the human mechanics thereof. I work at trying to be sympathetic to both the lead characters yet at the same time put enough distance so that they can be each whole 3-dimensional creatures. We will be using techniques and software that are completely alien to me which is also very exciting.

This is a really-really nice project and it brings Han van Acoleyen back into working with me which is always a treat. I’m really going to savour this experience.

Sometimes I wonder if people are really being aware of the arguments they make against things like taking care of other people or the environment. How does one become so uninvolved in the world to ridicule those who do? It’s too easy to say that it comes down to education or not being exposed enough.

In the last couple of months I’ve had a few exchanges with people that have surprised me. The most recent took place during commenting over an internet post with someone I’ve never met and don’t know anything about other than he shares a friend with me. In participating in any form of open public discussion one accepts that there will be those who have a different opinion. It was irritating that the person didn’t stop at having another opinion but felt it necessary to aggressively ridicule me. Instead of correcting or clarifying or even giving a counter-argument the discussion ended and everything veered off-topic into a sort of intellectual pissing contest splitting hairs. I thought to myself, “what for?”

The choice of words and execution used reminded me of another exchange I had last spring. If I discuss something like politics or social topics, I prefer not to speak with people who share exactly the same opinion as myself. It’s boring, one-sided and no one comes out any more enlightened. Still, speaking with people who break down into insults when they have no idea who you are or what your background is or even hold the slightest clue as what you may be about is perplexing and annoying.

I have friends who approach issues differently than me but can still have a discussion. I’ve been called out on some of my words and ideas before and have become a bit wiser for it. Of course there was a time when I took being called out on these things much more personally. It is with this understanding I try to keep my wits about me when dealing with the more aggressive personalities. All the same I wonder where the line should be.

I find that those who are unafraid to expose themselves to uncertain and new things without decaying into cynicism to be really courageous people. I like them most of all. They build bridges, test ideas and get to the heart of misunderstanding. Lately it is very difficult to not succumb to negative influences. A minute’s worth of news stories can ruin anyone’s good mood no matter which perspective they come from. Everyday we are closer to death, so in the end does anyone really want to look back on their life seeing it seething with judgement, indifference and intolerance? Is it worth it? Using angry words and ridicule like that are signs of a deeper self-deprecation and a socially inept waste of time.

Last Friday I had a very nice discussion with a coworker. It was about the differences on how we approach the world and people from before we started at the hostel and now years later. I would love to see the exact statistics of how many people from how many cultures I’ve met and dealt with over the last six years. I bet the numbers are quite impressive. Our working environment is a flowing tap of people. For being an artist with a day-job I have the best one in the world. It’s why I became interested in science fiction. They are all aliens who come from everywhere with every background and every disposition and it’s my job to understand the best way to communicate with them. I’ve found far and wide that most people really are nice. Despite religious, intellectual, political and economical differences, many possess the basic human component of compassion when you really one-on-one directly communicate with them. This is why it’s so difficult for me to process people who just want to be nasty when making a point.

The rehearsal this evening was challenging on several levels. The most obvious was being in a shut-in sound proofed room with no moving air while the outside was already at 30°C. Miriam made up a new english word – smellting, based off of the german schmeltze, and the english forms of melting and smelling.

The band is great with each other. They communicate through the music. I feel at times like an outsider with text. My place in the overall piece hasn’t found itself yet. I’m bumpy and clash with the sounds. I don’t like the way I come off.

All the same it’s an interesting lesson. I’m acting again and want to do a good job. I’m also beginning to understand how an actor needs a certain type of direction to come into their role. As a video director this is an invaluable experience. I’d much prefer to be insecure right now than not.

We have another rehearsal on Wednesday and then the director and I sometime after will have a meeting concerning my part. The rest get the luxury of hiding behind instruments, maybe walls of some sort – in comparison I’m naked (not literally), standing in front of an audience. I see them and they see me. If I can get comfortable with my role then it’s no problem, I won’t care and will have fun with it. If I can’t find my way beforehand then will have to improvise and that’s always nice.

I am still the weakest most inexperienced of all the parts and going through an interesting growing pain. I came out this evening feeling failure and that is healthy. I’m doing this for two very good reasons. First, I like the project very much. The people involved are wonderful and it’s an excellent evolution to work with Miriam on this level and learning to work with even more talented people. Second, it’s a preparation on getting used to performing. Eventually Nevec Red will do a show and I will have to be ready for that.

I will never forget the first day I became a stripper. It was for a benefit in Chicago. I was fresh in town. It was scary but fun as fuck after the first time. When I went to a strip club for my first audition a week afterwards the mother of the owner was sitting at the bar. She was an ancient old lady. In my first 30 seconds I asked if I should take off my clothes immediately or make a dance of it. Out of all the people in the bar she piped up, “Do what you want, honey!” and I relaxed. I got the job and within days was back on that stage stripping for my first shift. It too was nerve wracking, but after the first song I fell into place. I know that this project is only a small project in front of people. I don’t even have to strip! It’ll be fine once I get past the nerves and have a sense of how this is supposed to work.